If I had to guess, I’d say that your marriage needs a bit more adventure. And I’m not talking about adventures in bed, although that may be part of it. Instead, it probably needs some good old-fashioned fun and excitement.The kind of fun and excitement that happens easily when you’re dating, but not so much when you’re been married for a few (or many!) years.
Am I right? If so, I want to encourage you to do something fun, something a little bit different, something that adds an element of adventure to your marriage. (Believe me, I’m encouraging myself too – I am not an adventurous person!) Because we need that little spark of excitement every once in a while.
You and I both know how easy it is to get stuck in a rut. Dating and the early years of marriage tend to be an adventure in and of themselves, but as the years go by we often lose that sense of excitement. And when children come along, it seems to take all of our energy and all of our husbands’ energy just to keep the family afloat!
It begins to feel like if our lives revolve entirely around school, work, kids’ activities, and everything else it takes to just keep the family going. We’re running from one activity to another, cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, throwing in some laundry, and trying to keep everyone and everything on schedule. And life can – if we’re honest – start to seem pretty dull.
But it doesn’t have to be that way (at least not all the time). One way to get your spark back is to do something a little bit adventurous with your husband on a fairly regular basis. It doesn’t have to be a “great adventure” (you don’t have to travel to the Far East or backpack through the Rocky Mountains!), just something that shakes up your routine and helps you get out of your comfort zone.
Because those kinds of experiences help you to bond with your husband, let both of you “escape” from the mundane for a few hours, and enable you to enjoy each other’s company in a new and different way.
If your marriage or your life have started to feel a little ho hum, try doing something a little bit adventurous. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Look for Living Social deals for adventurous activities. My husband and I have taken two guided kayak trips that we got for a great price through Living Social.
- Get outside – go for a hike, ride bikes, ride horses, go rafting, climb, jump, swim, skate, ski. Enjoy being outside and doing something exciting together.
- Take a day off and explore your town like tourists. Bonus – stay overnight in a local hotel and enjoy some “hotel sex” and a longer break from your day-to-day responsibilities.
- Do something together that scares you a little bit. I’m not a particularly brave person, so for me this could include a lot of activities! Like the zipline adventure my husband wants to try on our upcoming vacation – yikes! Think of some activities that both intrigue and scare you, then schedule a time to do one of them.
- Look for opportunities to help others. Volunteer together. Serve dinner to people who are homeless. Read to children who need extra attention. Work in a free medical clinic. Set aside some money (some in his wallet, some in yours) and keep an eye out for someone who might be blessed by receiving an unexpected financial gift. Find your passion and follow it to get outside your comfort zone.
- Act like kids. Go to a zoo, fair, or amusement park. Ride the rides – try one that scares you just a bit! Play games, eat “fair food,” and just have fun.
- Go camping or stay in a rustic cabin. (I’m suggesting this, even though my husband and I have taken only one camping trip, and it was a disaster!)
- Go geocaching. We haven’t tried this yet, but a lot of people really enjoy it. I think it’s like a great big outdoor treasure hunt! (Check out geocaching.com)
- Try a restaurant that’s completely different from your favorite restaurants.
- Learn something new together – photography, dancing, kayaking, anything new that the two of you might both enjoy. Try something that’s a bit out of your comfort zone. My husband and I aren’t dancers and we have no rhythm, but I’m trying to convince him to take dance lessons this year!
- Go away together for a weekend and do something new and different.
- Change up your sex life – try something that’s a bit daring for you.
- Start exercising together.
- Start planning a big adventure. My husband and I are beginning to talk about taking a trip out West. The trip will be great, but talking about it and planning it is half the fun.
Okay, I’m pretty sure some you’re thinking, “I don’t have time to do any of those things!” And that may be true. But if it is, I want to encourage you to think about managing your family’s schedule and creating margins in your life in such a way that you do have time, every now and then, to enjoy an adventure with your husband. I think you’ll find that it’s worth the time and effort it takes to create some space for adventure in your life.
Have you ever done something to add adventure to your marriage? Please let me know – I would love to hear from you.
You may also like 16 Fun and Healthy Dates. And I’d love for you to download my free printable, 15 Ways to Connect with Your Husband – Even When Life Gets Crazy.)