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Sexy During the Holidays – Is That Even Possible?

23 Comments

So, yeah, I know that sex has not vaulted to the top spot on your “To Do” list this holiday season. More likely, buying gifts, wrapping gifts, decorating, and baking have leaped to the top of the list and are duking it out with the top-spot regulars – cooking, cleaning, working, and doing laundry. It’s not clear yet which tasks will win out, but I’m fairly certain that sex will not make the “To Do List Top 10” between now and Christmas.
Unless you decide to put it there.  Because even though you can’t afford the time to relax and enjoy sex with your husband, if you somehow manage to take the time, it will pay you back in spades – less stress, better sleep, more energy, increased intimacy, happier husband. Here are six tips for making sex and intimacy priorities during the busiest time of the year.
  • Focus on staying healthy and keeping things calm and relaxed. For women, few things squash the libido more than feeling sluggish and overweight because of a bad diet, lack of exercise, and limited sleep, or feeling so stressed out that it’s impossible to relax.
  • Decide that you are going to enjoy sex and intimacy regularly throughout the holiday season. You might think of it as a gift to your husband, but really it’s a gift to you too. If enjoying sex does not come easily to you, get a copy of a great new book by Sheila Wray Gregoire, 31 Days to Great Sex (it’s a digital book and costs just $4.99).
  • Plan at least two fun, relaxing activities for you and your husband to do during the holidays. Lori at The Generous Wife wrote about this recently, and I thought it was such a fantastic idea. It’s hard to feel connected to your husband when you’re in “Christmas commander” mode all the time! So do a couple of things to help you get out of that mode – attend a Christmas concert, go for a hayride, take a walk at night and look at Christmas lights, go out for coffee or cocoa, go to a movie. If possible, get out of the house – because it’s hard to relax when you can see all of the stuff you need to be working on. When you get home, enjoy some intimacy together.
  • Invest in some fun holiday lingerie and model it for your husband. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just something fun to set the mood.
  • Set a festive, relaxed mood. Put the kids to bed early. Take a bubble bath, light some candles, play some romantic or sexy music.
  • Give your husband the gift of your time. I think that husbands can feel left out at this time of year. Everything is about the kids and the list of things that have to get done! Of course, creating a wonderful Christmas for your children is a priority. But make your husband a priority too. Sit down and watch a football game or movie with him, go to bed when he does several nights a week, go for a walk together after dinner, do some of your holiday tasks together, say no to things that don’t really matter so you can say yes to the things that really do. (Speaking of gifts for your husband, JessieLeigh at Parenting Miracles recently posted an article I love – Three (Easy) Ways to Gift Your Husband.)
What do you think? Is it possible to make sex and intimacy with your husband a priority during this busy season?  I would love to hear from you.I also would love for you to  subscribe to Calm.Healthy.Sexy. by email. Enter your email address in the sidebar (under Subscribe to Blog Via Email). You’ll receive an email when I publish a new post, nothing else. And please follow Calm.Healthy.Sexy. on Twitter (@CalmHealthySexy), Facebook, or Pinterest.Gaye
Photo of Christmas couple by imagerymajestic, courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.

Comments

  1. A Proverbs 31 Wife says

    Let’s see, I would love to make it a priority, but our relationship is a little weird in that he is the one saying “no” 🙂 Oh well. I do enjoy your posts though, glad you linked up for Matrimonial Mondays

    Reply

    • GC says

      Hi Kendra – That does make it harder for you, for sure. I’m sure that can be very frustrating.

      Thanks for the opportunity to link up with you.
      Gaye

      Reply

  6. Anne Kimball says

    Hi Gaye, I’m Anne from Life on the Funny Farm (http://annesfunnyfarm.blogspot.com), and I’m visiting here for the first time from Thumping Thursday.

    To be honest, my hubs and I are on the outs right now. Sort of an in-house seperation, so sex has not been a part of our relationship for several months now as we get things sorted out, get therapy, etc. I’m feeling awkward and confused about our sexual relationship b/c of this, and this post was helpful in getting me to think about it more directly. Perhaps this Christmas season, restoring sex into our relationship could be a “gift”. To both of us.

    Anyway, thanks for posting this. If you’ve never visited yet, I hope you can pop by my blog sometime to say hi…

    Reply

    • GC says

      Hi Anne – I’m so sorry that you are going through this difficulty. It must be very stressful, especially at a stressful time of year. It seems like a good sign that you are both still living in the house while trying to work through your difficulties. I know that intimacy can’t solve the problems that you are having, but it could give you a way to connect while you are working through the problems. I am praying that you will be able to work through all of the things you’re dealing with.

      Gaye

      Reply

  8. Marlo says

    great advice. it’s far too easy to get distracted from what’s important during this time of year. If you aren’t happily married, everything fall apart!

    Reply

  10. Rosemary / RomanticMarriage.Org says

    Making sex and intimacy a priority will help strengthen the relationship at a time when the stress and busyness of the season might otherwise strain it. When I’m experiencing a lot of pressure, too much to do, tight deadlines, I really look forward to those moments of emotional and physical closeness with my husband. Focusing on each other frees us – even if only for a little while – from the expectations of the outside world and reminds us of who we really are and what we mean to each other.

    Reply

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