Essential Oils in the Bedroom: Top Sensual Oils for Women
- Yylang ylang
- Clary sage
Can women use essential oils for sex or to boost libido? It’s a good question, and one that a lot of women are asking.
You may have heard people talk about using essential oils for libido or to spice things up in the bedroom, and you may even have heard them mention specific oils, like ylang ylang or clary sage. But do they work, which ones work, and how do you use them?
Before we jump into talking about essential oils for sex, let’s first acknowledge that the path to embracing and enjoying our sexuality as women often seems very difficult to navigate. Everything pulls us in the opposite direction – the direction that leads to stress, fatigue, and little or no interest in sex.
And the sensual woman inside of us, the one who used to show up with some frequency, seems to have disappeared. Very often, it seems like finding her will take more effort and energy than we have to give.
For me, finding that inner sensual woman has been difficult at times. In trying to find her, I’ve taken a number of steps, including taking better care of my health, exercising regularly, and getting my mind around the fact that sex is important for me, not just my husband.
But I wanted more, and so I started thinking about essential oils for sex and sensuality. (Includes affiliate links)
I knew a little bit about essential oils, but not much. I believed they could help promote physical and emotional health in some cases, and so I started to wonder if they could be used to increase libido or sexual energy. As it turns out, it seems likely that they can. After some reading and study, here’s what I learned:
1. People have used essential oils to increase sensuality and libido for thousands of years.
The idea of using essential oils for sex and sensuality, and the belief that essential oils can increase interest in and enjoyment of sex, is not new; people have been using them for those purposes for a very long time.
Ancient Egyptian writers and artists often created sensual images by referring to scents and fragrances in the context of sexual relationships. And the Song of Songs in the Bible refers to scents, perfumes and anointing oils as part of its sensual imagery.
2. While many essential oils are considered to have sensual properties, several emerge as the top sensual oils for women.
Although a woman’s response to scents is very individual and personal, certain scents are considered to be particularly sensual or evocative for women. Modern Essentials, 5th Edition lists ylang ylang, clary sage, rose, geranium, and jasmine as essential oils for sex or sensuality for women, ones that may promote sexual energy or enhance libido.
Other sources mention sandalwood, cinnamon and the citrus oils. Some companies create blends of oils that are designed to promote sensuality and sexuality in women, using the sensual scents they consider most effective.
For example, one of those blends, my current favorite sensual essential oil blend, contains patchouli, bergamot, sandalwood, rose, jasmine, cinnamon bark, vetiver, ylang ylang, geranium, and cocoa and vanilla bean extracts. (And purchasing it as a blend is much less expensive than purchasing all of those oils separately, although if you have a number of oils on hand you can create your own sensual essential oil blends.)
3. Oils can be used in several ways to enhance sensual feelings.
Generally, these methods involve applying diluted essential oils to the skin, inhaling the scent of the oils, or both. The oils should be diluted in a carrier oil (such as almond oil, light olive oil or liquid coconut oil) and can be worn as a perfume.
The same oil mixture can be used as a sensual massage oil. In addition, oils can be added to a warm bath or shower, diffused or sprayed into the air, or spritzed onto bed linens. (Don’t add carrier oils to a bath or shower, as they can be slippery.)
4. Different oils appeal to different women.
Some women love floral scents, such ylang ylang, jasmine or rose. Some feel energized by spicy scents, like cinnamon, or energizing scents, like lemon or orange. Some women may consider a relaxing scent to be sensual, while others may find that an invigorating scent increases their sexual energy.
So, armed with this information, I tested some of these oils and blends:
I diluted all of these in a carrier oil, either fractionated coconut oil or almond oil. I wanted to try ylang ylang because it came up repeatedly in my research as a primary essential oil for sensuality in women.
But it’s very strong and very floral, so I added wild orange or bergamot (a light citrus scent) to “soften” it. I’ve used all of these mixtures as a perfume (separately, not together); I put some of them in roller bottles for easy application and the rest in regular oil bottles.
I also used a couple of the combinations as a bath oil and a massage oil. I talked my husband into giving me several massages (it wasn’t that hard!).And I took the advice of a midwife friend, who suggested rolling or massaging the oil mixtures onto the lower abdomen (over the ovaries).
(Prefer to watch and learn? Check out this video.)
After several weeks of experimentation, here’s what I learned:
5. Essential oils can reduce stress and elevate mood, which can promote increased feelings of sensuality and sexual energy.
Although they weren’t the magical cure I was seeking, the essential oil mixtures increased sensual feelings and interest in sex – but not on their own.
So, for example, if I worked hard all day, never took a break, worked until bedtime and fell into bed exhausted, no amount of ylang ylang (or anything else) was going to conjure up a sensual mood! It just wasn’t going to happen.
But, if I used the oils as part of a plan, taking some time to unwind, relax, have a glass of wine, or enjoy a warm bath or massage – then it was fairly easy to feel sensual and create some sexual energy.
Now, you might be thinking, “Well, making a plan and taking some time to unwind could put you in the mood without essential oils.” And you’re right – it could. At this point I can’t say for certain that something inherent in the oils increases sensuality or libido, or if they create a placebo effect.
Either way, for a small investment of money and time, I think the results were worth the effort. I plan to keep experimenting, and if I learn anything new I’ll let you know.
If you want to experiment with essential oils for sex or sensuality, consider first trying ylang ylang oil or a blend designed to promote sensuality. If you have a friend who sells essential oils, ask to try some samples. You can also sometimes test them or try samples in health food stores and high-end grocery stores.
The oils I tried are doTERRA, which you can purchase from a doTERRA consultant or on Amazon – Whisper Blend, Ylang Ylang and Wild Orange. I particularly like Whisper and find it to be a very sensual scent.
Want to learn more about using essential oils in the bedroom? Get a copy of my ebook, Breathe. Relax. Enjoy. How to Use Essential Oils to Increase Your Sensual Energy. Use the code FRIEND25 at checkout to save 25% off the regular price.
( Note: The information contained in this article is meant for educational purposes only and not meant to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or condition. Statements in this article have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease or condition. This information should not be relied upon to determine dietary changes, a medical diagnosis, or courses of treatment or to address relationship issues. If you are pregnant, nursing, taking medication, or have a medical condition, consult your physician before using these products.
This post does not provide medical or counseling advice. If you’re experiencing significant problems related to sexuality, please talk with a physician or professional counselor. Essential oils are not without risks, so use them carefully and sparingly. Don’t ingest them, don’t apply them to sensitive tissues, and don’t use them on children without consulting a physician. )
More about essential oils and increasing your sexual energy
- Essential Oils for Love and Romance
- Sensual Essential Oil Blends
- 26 Ways to Feel Sexier
- 18 Ways to Spice Up Your Marriage
Are you feeling frustrated with your libido and your level of interest in sex? Do you feel like something might be wrong? Do you wonder if you’ll ever be able to boost your sexual energy and enjoy intimacy more? If you’re feeling any of those things, check out the Boost Your Libido video course from Sheila Gregoire, the leading sex writer for married women.
This course can help you figure out why your libido or your sex life have gone way off track. It can help you answer the question, “Is there something wrong with me?” (I’ll give you a hint – the answer is no! But you may need some new information and strategies to get things going again.) And it provides practical strategies to help you find give your libido a boost, starting today.
Carole Sturm says
I am excited to have found your site. What I am having trouble understanding is if these oils are safe to use on the genitals/ or which oils are considered safe to use vaginally. I have done a lot of searching on the web, and i can’t seem to find anything except for Lavender and Tea Tree for yeast infections. Any information you can provide would be appreciated! Thanks !
Hi Carole – It’s a good question, and I don’t know the answer for certain. I know that some people do use them on their genitals, but I don’t recommend it, mainly because it seems to be an uncertain area.. Some oils are considered to be “hot” (like cinnamon) and could burn delicate tissue. I think that well-diluted oils can be used on the lower abdomen, inner thighs, etc, with care not to get them on sensitive areas. I know that’s not a definitive answer, but I’m hesitant to recommend anything that might cause pain or burning.
Cassie from True Agape says
I have been learning a lot from this post.
Thank you, Cassie. I hope that it’s helpful.
stephanie guzman says
does this blend work well for men with low libido aswell ?
Hi Stephanie – I really don’t know. I’ve read that there are oils that can help men, but I haven’t looked into it.
I had the same question! In my case, I think my libido is 150% while my husband’s is like 15%
I wonder if there is a problem with me…
Hi Galia – I doubt there’s anything wrong with you, although that situation is very frustrating. J. Parker at Hot, Holy and Humorous has some good resources for wives who are higher drive than their husbands.
Cinnamon and clove must be diluted very well add some frankincense and thin very well with carrier oil I use jojoba oil. Try small amount on skin be carful. The trick is to create a gentle warming sensation. If you get it right you will be amazed some will orgasm, really. Get it wrong and it will burn so be carful.
Christine Broome says
Before you choose any brand make sure they can be taken internally CPTG. That’s how I started, love using oils, for everything!
Hi Christine – I don’t know enough about oils to be comfortable with taking them internally, but I do love using them externally.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
velefini Mhlongo says
Can I know where to purchase these products
Hi – You can purchase many of these items on Amazon.
or you can purchase them from a wellness advocate for doterra like me! for my libido I personally love the clary calm blend for women! I have tired pills and other oils but this one is amazing!
I love essential oils and what they can do for us. I also enjoy making my own blends and blends for others…each person is unique and I feel blends should be made especially for them. The carrier oils and essential oils and their dilutions all determine what works for each person.
Hi kc – I love the idea of making different blends for different people. I haven’t really tried that, but would like to learn more about it.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Celebrating Sunshine says
What I like most about your posts is that I always, always learn something new. I love essential oils, but I have to admit that I’ve never tried ylang-ylang. After reading your post, I will definitely give it a try and I will come back again for more advice.
Thank you so much, Ana. Your kind comment really gave me a boost!
Very interesting post, Gaye. I have never used essential oils before. Thanks for the suggestions.
Thank you, Hadia. Read up on them before you give them a try. They are quite strong and need to be diluted and used carefully.
Keelie Reason says
I love the smell of jasmine. 🙂 I have heard that cinnamon oils can be rubbed on your genitals to help increase blood flow and arousal. Do you think that is safe to do that?
Hi Keelie – I haven’t heard of that, and I would be a bit worried about it. I think that cinnamon oil is quite strong, and I’d be concerned about getting it near any sensitive tissues.
Cinnamon oil is called a hot oil in the therapeutic oil industry and needs to be diluted in a 1:4 ratio where one part is cinnamon and four parts of a carrier oil such as fractionated coconut oil or almond oil. It is not an oil to use internally but can be used on the outside of the body such as the thighs both inner and outer. If it is applied and the person begins to feel painful burning, coconut or almond oil should be applied to relieve the pain. Never use water as this will increase the reaction much like drinking water after eating hot peppers. Some people are more sensitive and may need to dilute the cinnamon further. I have been using cinnamon as well as bergamot and frankincense as sensual boosters for a few years now with good results! Good luck!
Thanks so much, Julie. I really appreciate the information.
Eileen McLean says
I use doterra cinnamon oil in a coconut base love balm and i apply it to the genitalS. Please be awaRe it is a very Very warm oil and needs to be highly diluted, and its works wonderful (if you know what i meAn)!!! I use the recipe out of the “essential life book” found At “oillife .com”. I also take doterra cinnamon oil internally! Doterra oils have been labeled by fda as plant food, and if they have the suPplemental facts, they can be ingested! They have changed my life……the book also has some great love Diffuser bLends and roller bottle blends that work miracles. Enjoy and i hope this was Helpful.
Thanks Eileen. I have been thinking about diluted cinnamon oil applied locally, but wondered if it would be too strong. Thanks for the tip – I may give it a try.
Valerie CottageMakingMommy says
I love this post. I’ve used the oils for years but never for sensuality. You opened my eyes.
Thanks for sharing on Simple Saturdays.
Thank you, Valerie. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Here are things that transformed my sex life-
I started using Doterra essential oils 16 months ago to manage chronic pain & increase energy (which also did wonders for my sex drive, lol. Hard to feel in the mood when you are hurting & exhausted). I also discovered that Bergamot made a huge difference in my sensuality. It boosted my confidence enough to overcome my extremely poor body image. I take 2 drops in a gel cap each am & pm. I started using the whisper blend as my perfume about 7 months ago, & I LOVE it! It makes me feel sexy & confident, so definitely has a positive effect on my mood. I often diffuse yling ylang, patchouli, Clary sage, & cinnamon in the bedroom, which seems to have a positive effect on both me & my hubby, lol.
A non-oil related tip for women & sensuality: for many women sex is probably 80-90% mental. So try to think about your husband thruout the day, remembering special intimate moments you’ve shared- think about the qualities you find most attractive in him (character, personality, physical traits, etc.) & take a moment to be thankful for him. Plan time you can be romantic together…. depending on your situation with kids, schedules, etc this may take a LOT of creativity! Think of things you can try to make that time extra special for both of you, even if you only have a short while to enjoy being together. Deliberately devise ways you can make him feel completely appreciated. You’ll likely find that just focusing on when & what you can do together will be quite exciting. Be playful, relax, & just have fun together. Don’t hesitate to whisper things you’d like him to do to you, or guide his hands, or remind him how important foreplay is (& how fun it can be!). He can’t read your mind, lol, so lovingly let him know how to please you.
Oh, & even if you don’t feel the least bit interested when he does, try to relax & concentrate on how much you love him, & you’ll usually find that you soon get in the mood, lol.
I hope some of these ideas help others as much as they helped me!
Hi Jan – These are excellent tips! Thanks so much for sharing them. So glad to hear what worked for you.
I also use Whisper as a perfume. It’s a wonderful scent.
Gaye, doTERRA Essential Oils are not suppose to be sold on Amazon and you may not be getting the real thing. They should only be bought through an doTERRA Wellness Advocate.
Melanie Antonacci says
Great article! Sandalwood works well for me. I would not advise getting oils on amazon, however. I watched a lady demonstrate how easy it is to fill a bottle with WHATEVER, and then get caps that form a seal as if it was a brand new product. So PLEASE buy from a consultant or directly from the company. Not from Amazon or other online unknown entities.
Hi Melanie – Thanks for the tips regarding sandalwood and buying online.
Misty Leask says
Thank you for sharing this post at the Family Fun Friday link up Gaye! I’m just getting into essential oils and I’m sure this will come in handy! 🙂 I’m featuring this post at my blog on this week’s link up! Blessings!
Very interesting, Gaye! I didn’t know that essential oils were purported to increase sensuality. It doesn’t surprise me, though. Thanks for doing the experimentation for us and being so vulnerable to tell us what you’ve discovered. I agree that nothing is a “cure” for low libido. Like marriage it is something we must work at and pour into time after time before we will see the improvements or growth. Have you done any experimentation with lubricants? I’ve wondered about some of the claims that certain types are supposed to have. We’ve tried a couple of them and both of them weren’t helpful for me. Thanks also for being such a great encourager to me throughout all these years, my friend! Consider yourself “cyber-hugged!” 😉
Thank you, Beth. I don’t know much about lubricants – I haven’t tried anything other than the most basic. That might be a new area of research!
Great topic on the Oils – my Wife is Holy Hot and in Her 60’s .We have discovered a WONDERFUL lubricant from an Amazon store called Organic Glide, a little pricy …. but as close to the fountain of youth as possibly. this product was about 10 years late arriving in our marriage – but has re-lit the flame over the past 5 months and just keeps getting us more in tune in our love life
Thanks Rob. I have never heard of that lubricant. I will definitely check it out.
Hi Messymarriage! I am post menopausal and I too need a personal lubricant; I’ve started using coconut oil with some cinnamon essential oil as a warmer and it works great. It’s not slimy or messy. Couple that with a probiotic and intimacy isn’t painful or uncomfortable anymore. Hope that helps.
Lisa Byrd LM, CPM, CLC says
Hi Gaye. Thanks for your blog on this topic. It’s one that’s near and dear to my heart.
I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to post here or not but I’ve got an upcoming class in Irmo, SC on October 18th on, “Mastering Mood, Mind and Sleep” using essential oils. While not exactly a sensuality class (which I plan to do soon), moods play a huge role in our ability, as women, to feel sexy and open to loving, physical encounters.
We are whole beings and if things are out of kilter, other things suffer! Join us on the 18th at 10 and let me know if you’d appreciate a local or online “Sensual You with Essential Oils” type class in the near future:)
Hi Lisa – Thanks for sharing the information about the upcoming class. I am interested in that topic, and will check my calendar for the 18th. I am very interested in a sensuality class, and would love to know when you schedule it.
I have heard great things about using essential oils lately, but have yet to use them. I need to get on the bandwagon.
Hi Nicky – I am really just starting to experiment with them. I’m rather skeptical about the things people claim they can do, but I’m interested in learning more.
I’ve read the same about ylang-ylang. I already have a bottle that I purchased a while back for another use.
You are exactly right about running to the end of the day. I tend to try to pack as much into a day as I possibly can, then there is no amount of anything that can fix that!
I’ve heard great things about both doTerra and Young Living oils, so I should check them. I have always been a little put off by the pre-made blends, but I see where that would be useful in an application like this.
Thanks for your post!
Hi Karen – Yes, I can easily run myself into the ground by the end of the day if I am not purposeful about slowing down and taking some time to unwind! The thing that attracted me to the Whisper blend is that it was much less expensive than buying/trying all of the oils it contains. I understand what you’re saying about being wary of blends. I would definitely want to make sure it was one made by a reputable company.
Gaye I’ve been reading your blog for a while and love it!! I just bought some essential oils for the first time and am excited to try them. Thanks for the suggestions! Any ideas of oils to boost male libido (for my husband)? Thanks!
Hi Amanda – Thanks so much for reading and stopping by to comment. I looked in an essential oil reference book (Modern Essentials) and it lists a number of oils under sexual issues – men, including clary sage, sandalwood, clove, rose, ginger, cinnamon and myrrh. In doing some additional research online, two that were mentioned frequently for men were sandalwood and clary sage. I hope that helps.