27 Things I’ve Learned in 27 Years of Marriage

My husband and I were married 27 years ago today, on a cold, gray, rainy Saturday in a small town in central Pennsylvania. We’re fortunate that the weather on your wedding day does not predict the climate of your marriage! I am exceedingly thankful for and blessed by my husband, who loves me, cares for me, and knows my flaws, but focuses on my strengths.

In honor of our anniversary, I wanted to share with you 27 things I’ve learned in our 27 years of marriage:

What have you learned about marriage? Whether you’ve been married many years or just a short time, you’ve undoubtedly learned a thing or two. I would love for you to share one or two (or more!) of your favorite lessons or tips in the Comments section.
Gaye
Bride and groom photo by Aleksandr Kutsayev, at FreeDigitalPhotos.

Comments

  1. says

    We hit 27 years Aug 2013. I especially like low libido is NOT a permanent condition and if you are unhappy with a physical characteristic and can change it, then change it! No whining.

  2. says

    Blessings to you and your husband on 27 years of marriage! That is awesome! I’m so bookmarking this page because I believe in getting advice from those that have been through and survived! Thank you for sharing these wonderful gems for marriage!
    ~Michelle

    • GC says

      Thanks so much, Michelle. I’m following you on Bloglovin’ and also checking out the Palmetto Bloggers link that I saw on your blog!

      Gaye

  3. says

    Congrats on 27 years! That is pretty amazing. I bet it feels like just yesterday that you were getting married. I’ve learned that I need to quit keeping score in my marriage. If I give with my whole heart, it will be given back. Period. I love your list. It brought a bright smile to my face.

    • GC says

      Thanks Christina – Yes, in many ways the years have flown by. I agree about keeping score – it just doesn’t work. There will be times when I will need to give more and times when he will need to give more, but if we are both giving our best it all works out in the end.

      Gaye

  4. says

    I love your advice! I don’t have any of my own as I’m not yet married, but I have been told I have good relationship advice, nonetheless. And I finally have a great guy with similar beliefs and values, so I know it’ll work out if we get that far. Love your post!

    TALU

  5. says

    Hi Gaye, congrats on 27 years! My hubs and I have the big 2-5 coming up in a few months. So hard to believe. Fantastic list you have. My fav’t is about building your husband up. SO important.

    Thanks for linking this up with the TALU!

  6. kathythechickenchick says

    Congratulations on 27 happy years of marriage and thank you for sharing your insights to those of us in our first decade. ♥

    Thank you for linking up with the Clever Chicks this week; I hope you’ll join us again!

    Cheers,
    Kathy Shea Mormino
    The Chicken Chick
    http://www.The-Chicken-Chick.com

    • GC says

      Thank you, Kathy! I love your site. We just got our first chickens in October, so I have a lot to learn from you!

      Gaye

  7. says

    I think each bride and groom learn different stuff–depending on the spouse–but ‘Don’t try to control everything’ is a universal truth. Happy anniversary and here’s to 27 more!

    • GC says

      Hi Betty – I agree – the list can be quite different for different couples (although that control thing IS kind of universal – lol).

      Thanks so much for stopping by.
      Gaye

  8. says

    Love your tips. They come from someone who knows what she’s talking about! And my two faves–although it was hard to pick 1) don’t try to control everything 2) low libido isn’t a permanent condition. Thanks so much for this very valuable list!

    • GC says

      Thanks so much.

      I am amazed by your idea of “praying by computer.” I would never have thought of such a thing, but can see how it could be incredibly effective. I am definitely going to give that a try.

      Gaye

  9. Becca says

    Congrats on 27 years! I love hearing about people who have made their marriages last- and thrive- for that long. Thanks for sharing your tips (and for linking-up on my Healthy Tuesday post). I really enjoy reading the wisdom married women have to offer. I’m storing it away for “someday.” :)

  10. says

    I love this! Please say you’ll be flattered it I do a 32 things I’ve learned later this month for our 32nd anniversary… it’s such a great idea! And I’ll give you the credit! (I’m a schoolteacher, and that’s the norm in that field.,, I’m new to blogland and am not quite sure lol!)

  11. Annie says

    My husband and I married 27 years ago last May. Your comments are so true. Unexpected things happened along the way for us and I would add a few things to your list because of these things.

    – Always remember the vows that you spoke Ito each other in front of God. For better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
    -Realize that its important to pull together and not away from each other no matter what. There are times when your first instinct is to turn away. Anger, miscommunication and selfishness all feed that response. Don’t fall into that trap.
    -Bad things happen. Move through them not around them.They happen to everybody, you are not unique. The uniqueness that you have is that
    you are sharing them with someone that you love and loves you back.
    -NEVER allow disrespect to enter your relationship. It’s like a weed. It grows and spreads.

    That’s a few more things off the top of my head.

    • GC says

      Hi Annie – Thank you so much. These are excellent lessons, and I’m so glad that you shared them. It’s interesting how our first response in adversity is often to turn away from or against the one we love, when we should be turning toward him or her. At times it has to be a conscious choice to share the difficulties and work through them together.

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope you’ll come back and share again.
      Gaye

  12. says

    :) Great post!! Congratulations on making it so far in your marriage, these days it’s very rare.

    I found you through a blog hop, glad I did! I look forward to reading your posts and am now following you! Come on by the Aloha Friday Blog hop and link up with us too!! It’s easy and you could end up being next week’s featured blogger!! Come on by and link up if you please!! It’s a great way to get more followers and we’d love to have you at the Aloha Friday Blog Hop

    • GC says

      Hi Jean – Thanks for your kind words, and for the invitation to link up with you. I did link up and am now following you on Twitter and FB (and agree with you about how annoying FB has become!). Can I follow you by email? I did not see a place to do that (but it’s early, and I haven’t had my full dose of coffee yet!).

      Gaye

  13. Crystal says

    That is such a great list. I’m constantly learning about marriage. However, I do believe my biggest lesson was to show my husband lots of respect and he’ll show me lots of love in return. I’ve posted about this on my blog. “Couples I Dare You.” Great post. :) Congrats on staying married that long especially in our society where marriage has lost it’s value.

    • GC says

      Hi Crystal – I agree that love and respect are essential. Thanks so much for stopping by. What is the name of your blog? I can usually link to it from a person’s comment, but for some reason I cannot with yours.

      Gaye

  14. Jack J Foley says

    minor typo – sorry to be the one to point it out.

    Obsessing about your perceived physical flaws …. yields [nothing] useful.

    At least, I think that’s what you want to say…

    • GC says

      Yes, you’re right. My husband was the only other person to point it out. Very embarrassing, especially since I do a lot of editing in my job!

      Thanks for pointing it out and for stopping by.
      Gaye

  15. says

    PRAY TOGETHER!! this way you can talk about the things you are worried about, struggling with, or things you are trying to make decisions on. My husband and I started praying together when we were dating and we saw God work through and in our relationship so many times!

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