When your schedule gets crazy, your marriage can suffer. Children’s activities, church responsibilities, and community commitments – not to mention jobs, meals, laundry, and housework – can easily absorb all of your time and energy, leaving very little of either for your marriage. In fact, things can get so busy that you may go for days, or even weeks, without really connecting with your husband.
This school year, to avoid putting your marriage on the “back burner” of your life, commit to spending at least 15 minutes a day connecting with your husband. Find a time when the two of you can talk and spend time together without interruption on most days of the week. Enlist his help in picking a time that works for both of you, scheduling it, and sticking to it. You may have to juggle schedules or get creative to make it work.
Making a 15-minute commitment will look a bit different for every couple, and will depend a great deal on the ages of your children. When our children were younger, for example, my husband and I walked outside and talked after work or dinner while our children played outside. Now that they’re older and we don’t have to get them up and off to school, we drink coffee in bed for 20-30 minutes every morning. We use that time to wake up (I am not a morning person!), talk about what’s going on at home and at work, and pray together. We also talk on the phone for a few minutes mid-morning, just to see how things are going with each of our work days. These are simple things that don’t take much time or energy, but they really help us stay in touch with each other.
(Of course, sometimes you need more than 15 minutes – to talk through an important issue, to relax together, to make love. So be sure to schedule one or two longer times together each week too.)
Fifteen minutes isn’t a lot of time. But, if your family operates in “full steam ahead” mode during the school year, those minutes can make a big difference in your marriage. I encourage you to give it a try as your children head back to school.
Have you scheduled brief but regular times to connect with your husband? How have you made that work (or struggled to make it work)? Please share your thoughts in the Comments – I would love to hear from you.
lifeofatravelingnavywife says
Absolutely. Especially now that we’ve moved to be closer to my husband’s kids. It’s very easy, as a stepmother, to feel left out and like you’re way on the backburner making all the sacrifices but with no gratitude. We’re making it a priority to remember: marriage first. When the kids are grown and gone, it will be us together. We go riding on the Harley, shoot together, work on the yard…it’s the little things, too.
GC says
Hi Heather – I’ve been following the story of you and your husband’s decision and your move with great interest. I really admire you for making that decision and think that it will pay off in the long run for the children and your marriage. You’re smart to prioritize your marriage; I can only imagine that the balance between marriage and kids is twice as difficult when you’re the stepmother.
Thanks so much for stopping by.
Gaye
jugglingrealfoodandreallife says
Great advice Gaye! Life gets so busy and although I see my husband, sometimes it feels like we don’t actually talk for days. That’s no good at all especially because I like to spend time with him…………I guess that’s why I married him. LOL!
Lisa (@retrohousewife5) says
Great reminder! It’s amazing that something so small can have such big results.