Last week I shared 10 tips for staying connected with your husband and preventing outside activities from taking pver your life. Since then I’ve thought of some additional tips and read several great blog posts that inspired others. So, before your life gets too crazy this fall, consider 8 more ideas for staying connected as a couple. Between these tips and the previous 10, I hope you can find 2 or 3 that will help you and your husband connect and keep your marriage as a priority.
- Spend some unplugged time together every day. Put away your phone, tablet and computer and spend time together without the electronic distractions. Tyson at Uplifting Love wrote a good post, Just Turn it Off, about this recently. And if you need a reminder of why it’s important to focus less on our gadgets and more on the people we love, check out this great reminder video, “A Silent Message for All of Us.
- Kiss him like you mean it. After a few years of marriage, the ‘hot and heavy’ kissing we once enjoyed often disappears. Add a couple of kids and a busy schedule to the mix, and kissing tends to be relegated to a pathetic peck on the lips a couple of times a day! One way to stay connected to your husband is to kiss him like you mean it – every day! Scott at Journey to Surrender wrote a great post recently – 10 Ways to Change Up Your Kissing Routine.
- Touch base during the day. If your schedules allow it, talk on the phone at least once a day, just to see how things are going for both of you. If talking isn’t feasible, send a brief email or text, just to let him know you’re thinking of him.
- Crank up your sexual energy. I’m not talking about having more sex (although that’s good too!), but rather about infusing your marriage with sexual energy – the communications and actions that say “I want you.” Sexual energy “boosters” come in many forms – sexy texts , sexy nicknames, code words, quick-but-steamy kisses or touches, planning and anticipating sexual activities, trying something outside your comfort zone, and anything else that keeps you connected sexually. (Speaking of comfort zones, The Forgiven Wife has a great new series on stepping out of your sexual comfort zone.)
- Speak your spouse’s love language. You probably know about the 5 love languages, but are you speaking your husband’s language consistently? When your schedule gets crazy, maximize your connection by showing him love in the way God designed him to receive it!
- Step out in faith together. It’s easy to get stuck in our daily routines and miss the needs all around us, needs God is often calling His people to meet. But maybe God is calling us and our husbands to break out of our routines once in a while and do something for Him. Stepping out in faith to do God’s work is a great way to stay connected, while meeting real needs in our communities. For couples with young children it could be something simple, like serving together at a soup kitchen once a quarter. For those with no children or older children it might be something bigger, like working regularly in a homeless ministry or taking a mission trip together.
- Let go of small things that interfere with your connection. Do you hang onto small annoyances, things your husband says or does that really bug you? I try not to, but sometimes it requires putting mind over emotions, making a conscious choice to let it go. It’s hard to maintain a positive connection if you feel annoyed with him frequently, so consider making the choice to let some things go. I’m not talking about serious issues in your marriage (those need to be addressed), but rather the small things that just aren’t worth the anger or frustration you invest in them.
- Work on projects together. Rather than always focusing on your own projects, change things up sometimes and work on projects together. If he always does the yard work and outside projects, for example, work together outside one Saturday. Or if you do all of the interior painting, ask him to work with you one weekend to paint a room. Or work on a project you both enjoy (like gardening) or share the “pain” of a project you both hate (like cleaning out the garage).
How do you and your husband stay connected when life gets crazy? Please share your ideas in the Comments – I would love to hear from you. Gaye
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